Saturday, January 26, 2013


Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

hansel and gretel witch hunters poster
Official Synopsis: Catching up with Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) 15 years after the traumatic incident involving a gingerbread house, the siblings have evolved into vengeful bounty hunters dedicated to exterminating witches. Over the years, the siblings became expert hunters, famous for their proficiency at tracking and taking down their prey. Although still recovering from their ordeal, their work is relatively easy as for an unknown reason harmful spells and curses do not work well against them.

The Mayor of Augsburg recruits them to rid the town and nearby forests of an evil sorceress (Famke Janssen) who is planning to sacrifice many local children at the witches’ gathering during the upcoming ‘Blood Moon’ night in two days time. To make things worse, the duo also has to deal with the brutal Sheriff Berringer (Peter Stormare) who has taken power in Augsburg and conducts a very indiscriminate witch-hunt of his own.

Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare

Director: Tommy Wirkola
Genre: Action, Fantasy, Horror

Running Time: 88 min.

Rating: R for strong fantasy horror violence and gore, brief sexuality/nudity and language.

Critical Response:
  • Rottentomatoes: 13% (5 fresh, 33 rotten, score: 3.9/10).
  • Metacritic: 18 out of 100 (0 positive, 5 mixed, 8 negative).


parker jason statham poster
Official Synopsis: Parker (Jason Statham) is a professional thief who lives by a personal code of ethics: Don’t steal from people who can’t afford it and don’t hurt people who don’t deserve it. But on his latest heist, his crew double crosses him, steals his stash, and leaves him for dead.

Determined to make sure they regret it, Parker tracks them to Palm Beach, playground of the rich and famous, where the crew is planning their biggest heist ever. Donning the disguise of a rich Texan, Parker takes on an unlikely partner, Leslie (Jennifer Lopez), a savvy insider, who’s short on cash, but big on looks, smarts and ambition. Together, they devise a plan to hijack the score, take everyone down and get away clean.

Starring: Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Nick Nolte, Michael Chiklis, Clifton Collins Jr., Bobby Cannavale, Emma Booth, Daniel Bernhardt

Director: Taylor Hackford
Genre: Crime, Thriller

Running Time: 118 min.

Rating: R for strong violence, language throughout and brief sexual content/nudity

Critical Response:
  • Rottentomatoes: 35% (17 fresh, 32 rotten, score: 4.6/10).
  • Metacritic: 45 out of 100 (7 positive, 6 mixed, 5 negative).

Movie 43

movie 43 new poster
Official Synopsis: Naomi Watts flashes some 1980s flair as a borderline psycho mom, alongside her real-life love Liev Schreiber, as parents who homeschool their son, played by Shameless co-star Jeremy Allen White, but completely subject him to school bullying (a bratty Watts with a teenage side ponytail, priceless). Kate Winslet goes on a blind date with Hugh Jackman and learns he has a weird birth defect. Freak-outs ensue. Terrence Howard coaches a 1950s all-black basketball team, giving the players pieces of advice definitely not considered PC. Halle Berry, looking as model gorgeous as ever, goes against type by playing a saucy game of truth or dare in a restaurant with erstwhile Ricky Gervais collaborator Stephen Merchant. Two words: turkey baster. "Movie 43" also stars Emma Stone, Jason Sudeikis, Gerard Butler, Kristen Bell, Chloe Moretz, Josh Duhamel, Johnny Knoxville, Elizabeth Banks, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Richard Gere, Anna Faris, Justin Long, Uma Thurman, Seann William Scott, Kieran Culkin, Leslie Bibb, Jimmy Bennett, Ricky Gervais, Kate Bosworth, Patrick Warburton, Tony Shalhoub, Dennis Quaid, Greg Kinnear, Seth McFarlane, Common, Chris Pratt and Bobby Cannavale.

Starring: (seriously huge list of stars, so read the synopsis above)

Director(s): Brett Ratner, Elizabeth Banks, Mike Judge, Peter Farrelly, Bob Odenkirk, Steve Baker, Damon Escot, Stephen Brill, Steve Carr, Rusty Cundieff, James Duffy, Griffin Dunne, James Gunn, Jonathan van Tulleken
Genre: Comedy

Running Time: 90 min.

Rating: R for strong pervasive crude and sexual content including dialogue, graphic nudity, language, some violence and drug use.

Critical Response:
  • Rottentomatoes: 6% (2 fresh, 29 rotten, score: 2.4/10).
  • Metacritic: 16 out of 100 (0 positive, 2 mixed, 8 negative).

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